Chocolate Milk Shake

3/4 cup plain light soy milk
1/4 cup melted dark chocolate
3 scoops Soy Delicious Vanilla Ice Cream

1. Melt the chocolate on warm in a fondue pot. Cool, but make sure it is not too warm that when combined with ice cream with ball up.
2. In a blender, place milk and chocolate. Cover and blend on high speed 2 seconds.
3. Add the ice cream, cover and blend on low speed about 5 seconds. Serve immediately.

Yeah...that's right. Chocolate. Ice Cream. Shake. Are you all going to judge me now. As I write this blog, stomach throbbing, lips coated in dried Chocolate, I can only harken back to what just transpired.
The cook presented the Betty recipe for chocolate shakes a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say, the idea excited me greatly. The shake got within my grasp when the cook came home from grocery shopping and unveiled all the individual ingredients necessary to concoct the liquid dessert. Dark chocolate morsels ( what an interesting variation), fresh milk, and vanilla ice cream. Heaven in a glass.
Tonight was the night the dream became a reality. About an hour after an early dinner, the cook went to the kitchen, took out the chocolate, milk and the blender. She then took another appliance out. What could it possibly be? All she has to do is melt the chocolate over stove top, and blend the acoutrama together.
I walked to the kitchen to accompany my beauty, and I uncovered the mystery: A fondue pot.
Crap. Fondue. This will not end well. If there is any melted goodness left at the bottom of the pot, a simple glass of milkshake will not suffice. I have seen this sketch before...numerous times. And every ending is the same, a bloated, sore stomach and the unison shaking of our heads while asking, "how did we let this happen again."
As some may know already, we have created a name for the ulterior personality that is extracted from the cook upon our melted chocolate encounters: "Fondue" Ashley.
She is more vicious than a tornado tearing through a trailer park...she has a more one-tract mind than an adolescent boy...she is more focused than a feline in heat. She watches over the chocolate as it melts, she smells it as it's richness is released, and she sees the flowing lava confectionery caking the bottom of the pan.
And then she heads straight for the fruit tray, and proceeds to dip every available piece of fruit. Next she jets to the refrigerator to pillage anything in it's gorge that could be good dipped. And finally, the pantry, oh the humanity. Pretzels, chips, dehydrated fruit, blue corn tortillas, and nuts. Almonds, pistachios, cashews, walnuts...nuts from all over the world end up in the same place...the bottom of a warm vat of pure decadent sugar.
Tonight was no exception. The shake was amazing, and it lasted all of a minute. Soon after, as the cook was still working on her drink, I started for the bananas.
I barely took the time to peel until it was thrown in the bath and extracted in excitement. Soooo good. I took a piece over to the cook, and she ate it without hesitation. Fondue Ashley was suddenly aroused.
She finished her shake soon after, and reached for some grapes. Delicious. Next, ranier cherries. Obviously outstanding. Finally, watermelon? Sounded funky, and tasted funkier.
The pantry was raided. Fondue Ashley ripped open a bag of dried mangos. Too much sweetness. Needs some salty counterbalance. Blue corn tortillas, a revelation. No pretzels, our loss...we actually wished we had a chocolate-dipped nut or fruit item so that we could double dip it in the fresh batch of chocolate...that is when you know you have a problem.
Finally, it was time to put a stop to the madness. I washed out the pot and the blender, and threw the morsels as deep as I could in the pantry. The only way we will not be motivated to duplicate our actions is if we cannot see our addiction staring us in the face everytime we pick through the pantry.
So here we are, laying somberly on our backs, prodding our protruding bellies. Chocolate on our faces, chocolate on the counters, chocolate in the sink, and chocolate fresh on our minds.